A quick update;

It's been an emotional-ful roller-coaster of a week! Almost everything type was experienced. But some of the good ones were kindda over shadowed by the bad. So it was really hard to tell how i was really feeling. I want to share all the happy times... Cow's birthday, my new hair, rehearsals, taste test, The Wedding, the photo shot, the food, the flowers, the cute little flower girl, the triplets, the bridal party, the company, the love and joy.... So many things to be happy about!
But i'm just not really feeling it....
This week i learn that it s so hard to smile-on-demand, smile when you don't feel like it, smile when you actually feel like crying.
I haven't cried since...................
(Okie... lets move on...)
The bitterness and resentment, the sadness and the pain, the unsure and frantic lost.... It's all been equally (if not more) overwhelming the past few weeks. Then i find myself stuck in a corner with no where to turn to. I pick up my phone, and i can't find anyone to call. That was definitely a lowest. And so painful.....

But mostly importantly.... I know that over the course of these few weeks, i've let some ppl down. All i can say is that i am really sorry. I will give no excuse for me losing focus, for letting some things over take others. I had to choose and i made a choice that at that time felt right and important. Not saying that i feel that they are wrong now.... Just that I'm Sorry that it caused disappointment and anger.

*oh this was suppose to be a short one...*

This is my blog and it should only be filled with happy memories... But once in a while, I "indulge"
I need time alone right now... To find the answers i need to know...
I will go now... until i can write about all things happy again...
But rest assure i will be back (Just like how Fiona always bounce back in the end!)
But for now i need time alone...
I need time to find that delete and refresh button in my head.

XOXO